When we are considering making any change or investment in our lives a big question that comes up is around “but aren’t I managing this ok on my own”? or “I can figure this out on my own”.

I think this is rooted in a deeper cultural issue of rugged individualism. The premise is that we are somehow flawed or lacking if we cannot ‘do it all on our own’.
Enlisting support is often a significant investment, of time, money and energy. This is often an objection to investing in therapy and personal growth. And I get it, I have been there myself.

In this state of mind we tend to focus only on the costs of not doing it on our own. Which in our culture often comes down to the money, time and energy we will need to invest. My own experience has lead me to shift my mindset about how I approach when I need to invest in support. This may not fit for everyone.

1) In terms of therapy and personal growth I am a strong believer in lifelong development. We all go through things at different times in our lives, we are all human and therefore not perfect. Different layers of our own stuff, ancestral trauma, past life and karmic pat terns will continue to surface over time. I am grateful to have a strong network of support professionals to assist me with my own work. I also think this is vital given the type of work I do. Would you trust a doctor who would not invest in their own treatment? Doing my own work makes me a far better therapist than I would be if I avoided my stuff.

2) It is essential to also consider the cost of not seeking the right support. Trying to do it all on our own may save us the initial investment of seeking the right support, however there are many situations where the true long term cost if far higher. Dr. Daniel Amen in his work on brain health talks about how treating mental health concerns can be costly, however it is far more costly to not seek treatment in the long term. The financial impact alone can be truly devastating, untreated trauma, depression, anxiety and other concerns can lead to poor work performance, inability to retain employment, missed opportunities for advancement, not living up to your true potential and on and on.

It is also important to take into account the longer term impact on significant areas of your life that are difficult to put a price tag on, such as relationship with partners, with family and friends, overall life satisfaction, health and so on. Only you can make the decision of if the investment is right for you, however I strongly hope that you seriously consider both the short and longer term potential costs and benefits in reaching a deci sion that is right for you.

3) In our culture money is a form of energy. When we invest in something we are more committed to the value of the work. One of the problems with ‘doing it all on our own’ is that we often do not take it very seriously, it is often not a high priority in our day to day and we often lose accountability and therefore change comes slowly or not at all. I understand that a significant energetic investment is different from person to person depending on their economic circumstances. I have also been there myself, working 3 jobs just to pay the bills or in situations where I was not earning enough to do even that. My personal development work was still a top priority even in those times.                    A question I would encourage you to reflect on is “Can I truly not afford this? or “ Is this something I am not willing to invest in significantly at this time?”.

There is a difference and if it is the latter this will likely negatively impact the results you receive from seeking support. Your energetic investment in the work needs to be high in order for you to get the most out of it.

In the end, no one can decide for you if investing in support is the right choice for you at a given time. Often people seek support when things have become so bad they can no longer cope with it on their own and they are in crisis and desperate. And if this is you that is ok too. But it also does not have to get so bad. In fact, it is often easier to turn things around and make changes when you catch something earlier, (and therefore less of an investment is required to get back on track).

Therapy is about providing you with new tools, strategies and changes in perspectives that you can take with you to apply for the rest of your life. It is an investment you make in yourself and ultimately it is up to you to decide if you are ready and willing to make it an investment that pays off in the end.