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With the start of a new year (and a new decade to top it off). The push for going out and crushing our goals is at an annual all time high.

To be clear, I am a perpetual optimist and believer in the power to to change. It is literally my job and what I have devoted my life to.

New Years resolutions often make me cringe.
There are 3 key lies if you aren’t careful, will keep you from your best self.

1. Instant and Dramatic Change:

It might be the goal to drop 10 pounds in one month. Which leads to crash diets and excessive exersie. Even if the weight does come off the statistics show that it is likely to come right back on. We are at higher risk to gain even more with yo-yo dieting.

The push for a quick and dramatic transformation makes for compelling reality tv. But in actual reality small, realistic and maintainable changes are what actually work. Small changes are manageable, when we stick with them (for at least 21 days) they become a habit. And a habit becomes a part of our lifestyle. The changes that are a part of our routine and lifestyle stand the test of time.

Instead of trying to do a full makeover of your life start with one small step and keep building each day.

2. The  Belief that we are Fully Responsible (a.k.a in Control).

Positive thinking and growth mindset are powerful tools. No doubt about this. Yet we are not always in control of making it the ‘best year’. There are ups and downs that are a part of any human experience. there are so many thing we can’t control. The hard truth is that tragedy can hit any one of us at anytime. Being a good person, practicing positive thinking, doing all the things. None of it can protect us from this hard fact.

But here is the other thing. Whatever difficulty you are facing, you can get though it. You can survive it. You might even come out stronger than you ever thought possible. But it doesn’t mean you have to make it into something it is not. Sometimes it takes a heroic effort just to survive.

If this is where you are at (or hits you later) it is ok if it sucks. Feel it, move though it, take care of yourself, seek support. You’ve got this.

3. The Focus on Hustle Above All Else

Worshiping the Gods o Hussle. The push to hussle and make it happen has gotten out of control. This is an ego dominated and old masculine energy way of being in the world. Hustle first will tell us to set goals and to do whatever it takes (at whatever the cost) to make it happen. The enemy of success is anything that takes time away from the relentless pursuit for your goals. No rest, no time for yourself or relationship. Do only enough to keep you going but no stoping until you hit that point of success.

The old paradigm of hustle first views success like an additive energy property. The more you put in = the more you get out.
Pretty clear.
Except that it is a lie.

The truth is Alignment first. Then hustle.
Coming to a place of alignment requires us to first slow down.
It calls us to develop a relationship with our soul and to learn to listen. Our soul speaks to us though intuition, dreams, symbols, coincides and inner knowing.

We need to ask what is calling to be born into the world though us.
We become the vessel.
It is a paradigm shift from the ego running the show to the ego bowing to its proper place to be inservice of the soul.

Once you are clear on alignment, then dive into the work.
Align then Hustle.

When we can learn to listen to and surrender to this space we enter the space of co-creation with the Universe. We harness unseen forces that have a multiplicative impact.

This is where we enter the realm of magic and miracles. Where we are supported by the universe in ways beyond or wildness dreams or hopes. All sorts of divine coincidences and support comes together. We don’t have to force anything to happen in this space.

Yes, there is still work to do but there is no need to push ourselves to the point of exhaustion. To burn out trying to make things happen.

In fact, in this space deleting our personal energy is actually counterproductive. How we are this process matters just as much (if not more) that what we are doing.

This is the rise of the divine feminine in action.

The good news is that the old ways can be undone and we can learn to embrace a new way of being in the world.
Be aware of the 3 lies and commit to a new way of being your best self and making 2020 the best year it can be for you.