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There are times in all of our lives when reality really sucks. When things do not turn out how we have hoped. The task of recognizing and accepting reality can be heart breaking.
We can cling too tightly to our dreams and best laid plans.

  • To our thoughts and adamant desires of how things ‘should’ be.
    It might be the relationship we are hoping will get better (but it isn’t)
  • The toxic ‘friendship’
  • The abusive or bullying work environment
  • The sadness and isolation of relationships rifts and unhealthy patterns
  • The pain of addiction, (our own or those we love)
  • Financial stressors and times when our income does not meet our expenses and/or preferred lifestyle
  • Our career plans and goals vs. our present reality
  • The business that is sinking
  • And on, and on

Avoiding facing reality can save us pain in the short term.
We can live a little longer in comfortable denial. We hope that our vision of our preferred future will somehow manifest if we are just a little more patient, hang in there a little longer.
And sometimes things may change and work themselves out for the better.
Yet avoiding reality does not change the truth of how things are. The problem is that denial is a poor protector from the realities of life. They more often catch up to us and force us to take notice. If we wait for reality to catch up to us, we run the risk of running out of time, resources and options that may have been available to us if only we had faced the realities of the problem sooner.

  • We could explore personal or couple’s counselling to sort out our best option and to see if it is possible to repair the damage and to create a healthier relationship.
  • We can adjust our expense and budget and take steps to cut down on debt and live within our means.
  • We can begin to explore career options, additional trainings and to create an exit strategy from the soul sucking job.
  • We can revisit our business and marking plan and make necessary adjustments.
  • We can explore part-time or side hustle options.
  • We can do our own work to create healthier boundaries in order to give in more sustainable ways in the long term.

If our heads have been buried in the sand too long the refusal to face reality can be far more damaging in the long run.

  • Relationships can be broken beyond repair.
  • We can feel crushed under a mountain of consumer debt.
  • Bankruptcy may seem like the only way out.
  • We may be forced out of the job, whether we are laid off, fired, or we quit because we cannot take it anymore. Yet we leave without a clear plan, direction or financial cushion.
  • We run out of time and resources and we have to shut it down. We close or sell the business. We did not see it coming and it is too late.

When things did not turn out how we have hoped accepting reality can be really hard.

I know, I have been there myself many times. And yet, I have also come to accept that this is a challenge I will continue to face for as long as I choose to set goals, to strive and to expand.
Life continually does not seem to get our memos on how things are ‘supposed’ to play out. We can rage against it and embrace being the ‘victim’ or we can allow ourselves to move through it with compassion and non-judgement, taking bak on own power to choose how we respond in tough situations.

It is only in facing our emotions in the present reality that we can grieve for what has come to pass and to accept what is. From here we can realign with the choices we have in the present moment and take back our power to make the best choices for ourselves.
We can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, keeping the lessons of the past as we continue on our path. We are better able to see the red flags and to course correct in the future.

Trust that the school of life teaches us in many different ways. Accepting what was not working and taking steps to do my own healing work and to do things differently in the future has led to some of my greatest successes. The perceived ‘failures’ of today may very well be the foundations of our success in the future. We only need to look to the present reality to guide us.

Even if it sucks right now, we still have the power to decide how to move forward and the actions to take in this moment.